In praise of girlfriends

When I saw this comment earlier in the week it seemed like outrageous clickbait fodder

Today I think I gained an understanding of how it's an insidious message. 

Young men might think their freedom comes from being single, but their opportunities to mature are severely curtailed by not having a relationship. 

When you have a significant other you gain someone outside of your family who will observe and comment on where you have opportunities to grow. 

It's not always easy to have a person you love who will call out your shortcomings, particularly if you respect them enough to listen and care. 

Too often people feel empowered to end a relationship when it's not serving them and, while I can't comment on all of those experiences nor the hurts that might be stirred, sometimes these are experiences where emotional growth can occur. 

Obviously not all our relationships are good ones, otherwise so many wouldn't seek ways to escape or move past trauma. 

However, it is through reflection that we can learn things not able to be seen from our own limited view of the world or learn about the patterns of behaviours that lie below the initial flush of anger, embarrassment and shame. 

I learn a lot about myself from those around me, particularly those who have known me and trust me as I can trust them. 

Some of the best lessons have come from girlfriends, which is why this hateful human is disdainful and wants men to look to other men for a limited reflection of human experience.

Metaphor in my driveway

More pics here
 

Giddy gigging

What if part of the thrill of a live concert is lightheadedness?

Interested to see that somebody measured CO2 concentration at a gig. 

The reading for healthy fresh air is 450-500.

Maybe I should put on an album and put a bag over my head?!

Just joking, don't put a bag on your head.

However, now I wonder if there's a playlist for putting a bag on one's head?

Since Covid, many famous musicians take significant precautions at their gigs and others are suffering from mystery illnesses that prevent performing.

Yet public health is bad for their business model, since you can only fit so many people into a space and they need more if they want breathing room.

 

It sucks being a boy

I was walking through dark streets one time and a drunk approached to ask a question, like "do you know the time?" 

I flinched and they noticed, touched my arm and said something like "it's alright mate, I'm not here to hurt you." 

I remember brushing it off at the time, like 'nah, I wouldn't be scared of you' but, afterwards, I realised how frightened my body had been. 

It was like when I touch a hurt and mentally tell myself to heal, since I have been assaulted on the street and at the time no one cared.

That flinch made me appreciate the trauma of being assaulted.

Apparently young men are the most common victims of assault and, because they're usually hit by other men, there's often an attitude that it's boys being boys or something.

I remember the police laughed at the idea they would find my assailant and a journalist dismissed my story, saying "it happens all the time." 

Well, let me say, it sucks being hit and finding that no one considers it seriously.

 

Jest like me

For around 25 years it has taunted me from the bookshelf

I read about Infinite Jest and had been intrigued enough to order a copy, only to discover the size intimidated me.

As someone who likes to read in bed, the idea of holding up this slab was also discouraging.

Recently I thought again about reading it, but there are piles of more easily digestible texts and I tend to go for non-fiction a lot of the time.

I had been prompted by Ted Goia's discussion of David Foster Wallace's prescience, and it's a great article that I recommend reading.

It was while reading the article aloud to my partner that my son heard about the book and, like me so many years ago, became intrigued.

Last night he asked for it, but it took a while for us to figure out which book he was talking about.

"It's got something about forever in the title," he said unhelpfully.

"The book described changes in technology and how it will impact people in the future."

Anyway, we eventually remembered Goia's analysis and the discussions that followed.

Now I'm wondering if the "jest" will continue as I hear my son describe the book's contents, or if it'll sit like so many books by his bedside.

Or if I'll end up buying another copy as my youngest son joins his siblings in leaving home for university.

'69 White Boomers

Mark Davis wrote a book titled Gangland that argued Baby Boomers were holding the reigns of Australian culture

It was published in 1997 and, as Generation X gave way to Y and Millennials, it seems like nothing has changed.

While it might be unfair to compare Woodstock to Glastonbury, since one defined a generation by not collecting tickets from attendees and the other aims to make a profit, this chart tells a similar story.

In fact, when I hear what my kids are listening to I find myself wondering if the music industry invests any money in cultivating new talent?

Socks to be you

An uncle once advised me to keep a sock in my desk drawer to discourage managers from allocating stressful tasks 

My friend Ted has a good bit of advice to add to this: 

It's even better if you take off both socks and hand them over one at a time. For an encore you can get another sock worn the previous week out of your pocket and hand them that as well. Nobody knows what to do with that third sock.

No memories

Maybe it's liberating?

For a couple of days now I've been feeling like Leonard Shelby, without the need to avenge something.  

If I have no past, then my future becomes a lot more open with possibilities.

Then again, one now wonders if I'm going to have to pay someone to see them again.