Toxic avengers

I'm beginning to think that "toxic masculinity" is a term that appeals to many people 

Rather than serving as a gentle way to change behaviours by suggesting something dangerous, it's become so polarising that it only succeeds in confirming biases in different directions across the gendered landscape. 

In that way it reminds me of the crisises that feminism has encountered whenever someone with a marginal identity asks if a political movement representing 51% of the population can claim to reflect their particular margin.

Usually those moments see the margins considered, possibly shifted or given new labels, then the small number of people it impacted either follow the renewed movement or find their own splinter to support. 

The feminst authors I've read are generally aiming to show solidarity with men where it will improve lives for everyone, such as reducing the burden of gender schema. 

However, I think history shows that one doesn't simply change the rules and expect the game to adjust -- more often it leads to a new code of sports or church for believers.

So I wonder if masculinity is toxic enough to die or if it will just get more extreme? 

Boys who won't listen

This week I had a sexist phenomenon confirmed

Some time ago I read there is a percentage of boys who will not listen to a woman when there is a man present.

It always seemed sorta ridiculous, yet somehow plausible given the rife nature of sexism.

Recently I've been on a placement in my teacher training and ended up in a kindergarten class.

I asked the teacher if she had seen this phenomenon of boys ignoring female teachers.

Her experience was having a student repeatedly give her a blank look, until the male gardener walked over to repeat her words and this boy responded to her instruction.

So I offered my services to be a mansplainer to the boys.

Sometimes you've got to be a man

It seems like gender schema is getting stronger each day

When these signs appeared at my pool this season, I thought it would only be a matter of time before someone realised the letters peel off.

So far the GIRLS sign is largely intact. 

Yet the BOYS sign outside the female toilets and showers has clearly benefited from the stronger fingernails of the fairer sex. 

Judging by comments from mothers, this vandalism can be seen as a deliberate message for council.

Many women have observed that their six-year old boy would struggle to get out of swimmers on his own, or would take ages and necessitate the mother yelling instructions outside for the duration. 

And, while thinking about being a man, this gem reappeared in my Facebook Memories this week.

Major issue with gendering music

While helping my son with his music assignment, I came across some interesting sexist language

A Youtube video described switching between major and minor chords as "both genders" and it bugged me.

I mean, yes, one could go on to argue that seventh chords show there are more than two genders.

What got under my skin is the idea that one gender would be major and another minor, as it infers one is superior somehow.

I know the differences between them depend on where you start and that G major is E minor, so there isn't much difference really.

But I don't find thinking of chords as genders helpful, since it adds a level of complex associations that ultimately raise increasing numbers of questions.

Sniping in the headlines

It's the 21st Century yet the Sydney Morning Herald choose to focus on a candidate's relationship status in this headline

And it's a relationship status with a disgraced former state premier, which makes it seem like an attempt to discredit her before she even gets the opportunity to run for election.

Zoom is a threat to patriarchy

Okay, so the title of this post is kinda joking but seemed like good clickbait to lead into some observations

I've been late to using Zoom, the telecommunications software that's become popular as Covid-19 has disrupted a variety of social settings.

Last night I joined a communications circle and it was interesting to hear many of those attending saying how Zoom surprised them in overcoming the absence of a physical space.

I resisted Zoom for a long time but am now beginning to see that it has some benefits, although it wasn't a great substitute for actually attending a life-drawing class.

So there are two things that I've been thinking about with Zoom and how they both level the metaphoric playing field in terms of changing social interactions.

The first is that it forces people to listen to each other.

I haven't seen a Zoom argument yet, but wonder whether it's possible to shout down someone you disagree with?

The second is that laptop speakers and mobile phones are terrible for those deep, masculine voices which would normally evoke authority and promote physical dominance.

Thinking about these two observations led to some amusement for me in thinking that Zoom might have a bigger impact on society than decades of equal opportunity policies.

I've heard some observations from women over the years that they'll be in a meeting and put forward an idea, only to find there's no response until a male in the room says the same idea.

It makes me wonder if Zoom can change this phenomena.

And that Zoom life-drawing class, it did get me drawing -- so maybe it worked?

#Notallmen

The way the hashtag #Notallmen quickly became a joke shows how much gender divides communities

Earlier this year Clementine Ford wrote “Men of Australia, it's time to pick your side” and called for action to address “the very real, ever present, issue of men’s violence against [women].“

I found myself feeling frustrated because men are more likely than women to be violently assaulted.

While around eighty percent of reported violence is the result of male perpetrators, it is a fraction of men responsible for these crimes.

If you accept Ford’s argument, then you would likely agree that Muslims need to stop terrorism.

Yet anyone with a basic understanding of Islam would recognise that it is a small section of extremists who engage in terrorism.

Many terrorists seem to be radicalised through being marginalised.

I wonder if there’s a need to address radical masculinity in our society?

Perhaps we could look at how traditionally male roles have quickly changed and ponder whether marginalised men are becoming fanatics?

Maybe there is a role for some men to help change the attitudes of other men, but I feel it is everyone’s role to address sexism.

As a man who has been assaulted, I found there was no support.

I want to stop violence but I don’t feel it can be done by trying to correct the attitudes of those who could abuse me.

I hate seeing myself lumped in with my bullies.

The influence I have on other males, particularly my sons, is to model a masculinity that values non-violent expression.

Men of Australia, it's time to pick your outlet and to make a practise of reflecting on what triggers your emotional responses.

Patriarchy demands of males

In The Will to Change (2003), the feminist author bell hooks wrote:

The first act of violence that patriarchy demands of males is not violence toward women. Instead patriarchy demands of all males that they engage in acts of psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional parts of themselves. If an individual is not successful in emotionally crippling himself, he can count on patriarchal men to enact rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem.

What the...?

My jaw dropped when I saw this ad from Hermes in the Australian Financial Review's magazine

Are they presenting a woman as like a dog being lured by a handbag?

C'mon -- it's 2018!

Gender neutral pronouns

There's a need for gender neutral pronouns in our society.

I write this as someone who works in fields often dominated by females.

For example, I've decades of experience working in communications and it's common to be one of a handful of men when I attend conferences.

While working with the Murrumbidgee CMA I was in a communications team with three women. It was somewhat confronting when the general manager called his "media tarts" to the stage during a meeting of the entire organisation.

A couple of weeks ago I was the only male at a meeting and was surprised when the group was collectively addressed as "girls" -- but mostly because I similarly reject being addressed as a "boy" for the inherent infantalising in that term also.

While I'm not convinced that "comrade" is the best word to take forward, it is one of the options that seems to connote a sense that we are all equals.

Bingo is going

While I feel I've been commenting on Facebook's use of scantily-clad women to drive my engagement with their website, my partner has accused me of being sexist in my observation.

So, as much as I've enjoyed wondering why comely young women are being suggested to become my "friends," it is time to move on from sharing their photos.



Before I do though -- and here you can feel free to think I'm arguing my case too much -- here are more winners of the People You May Know Bingo game I recently invented.

Domestic demigod

Anyone else notice that 'domestic god' doesn't seem to ring in the same way 'domestic goddess' does?

Maybe it's the ess sounds because the alliteration 'domestic demigod' seems to work better.

Then again, maybe it's sexism because when I googled "domestic god" the top result was a definition for 'domestic goddess' with a few stories about males who clean underneath.

Google also offered 'domestic deity' which is good for being both genderless and an alliteration.

Anyway, a man's home is his Mount Olympus and I've totally Zeus-ed my place today.

Sexism in Wagga

Frightening to whom? Not only is it a bad headline but both it and the subheading are sexist. The Daily Advertiser needs to try harder.

Inclusive?

The "fun, safe and inclusive program designed for GIRLS ONLY"!

Gendered cheese

This cheese reminded me of Germaine Greer, who wrote in The Female Eunuch that:

"…every girl whose upbringing is 'normal'. She is a female faggot."

While Greer writes provocatively and this has been criticised for being homophobic, I think you can see her point. This tells girls from an early age that an interest in robotics and technology is the realm of males.

Kraft must've done their market research and found that boys are impressed by the robots; while girls will eat cheese for coloured hair?

Did you know?

The Daily Telegraph seem to be amazed there are women lawyers in Indonesia, judging by this story on their website today.

Deeply offensive

I find this letter to the editor of Wagga's Daily Advertiser newspaper deeply offensive.

The idea that men rape because they're horny portrays men as animals, no better than dogs. It's sexist bullshit in the extreme.

Can women sell cymbals?

Previously I've commented on the use of sexy women to sell keyboards and speakers. It's awesome to see this theme expanded to sell cymbals.

It reminds me of an experiment I read about while studying psychology. They found that by showing men photos of naked women wearing high heels they could train blokes to be aroused by shoes.

BTW the ads aren't working because I'm flaccid while looking at my cymbals.

Can women sell keyboards?

Previously I've observed the use of sexism to sell speakers so I was entertained to see it being employed to sell keyboards too. Maybe if they actually offered hot sex with every purchase?

Can women sell speakers?

On one level I can see these are attractive women, engagingly posed and yet, on another, they have no place in this ad except to provide an excuse for derogatory puns about being "easy to mount" and "plastic" - which can mean superficial.

I'm left with the opinion that the company thinks their consumers want superficial things like attractive women rather than high fidelity speakers.

Maybe I'm the only feminist who reads audio magazines.